A Tale of Three Schooling Journeys: How I Supported Each Child's Path

As a parent, I have had the privilege of experiencing schooling with each of my three children. Each one has had a unique journey, filled with its own challenges and triumphs. Through these experiences, I have come to realise that as adults, we often get caught up in our own hopes, dreams, and aspirations for our children, instead of truly supporting them and allowing them to confidently choose their own paths.

With my oldest child, he had the benefit of staying home with my mom for the first couple of years and started pre-schooling later than usual and initially, it was a breeze. At primary school I realised that there was an underlying tone of insecurity and at the same time, as a first time mom, I trusted schools, teachers and principals opinions, expertise and advice which led to medicating him so that he could "keep up, focus" and fit in. As he progressed through his schooling years, also having to process life and the choices that we, the adults, made, I noticed that he was becoming increasingly stressed and anxious. It wasn't until he opened up to me and expressed his desire to drop the meds that I realized I had been imposing my own (and others') expectations on him.  

I moved him to a smaller school where he received individual attention and after a few years, I learned that not every child is an academic - nor do they have to be.  I learned that some children are sensory children, meaning, they are sensitive to all 6 senses, including tone of voice and amongst many other lessons, I learned to trust my gut over the advice from people who choose the department of education's expectations over the child's holistic wellbeing.  It was a constant battle between us as I tried to mold him into a model student. But as he grew older, I began to see the value in his questioning and realized that perhaps the traditional schooling system was not the best fit for him. With the support of his headmaster and to his relief, I felt at ease taking him out of school in his second last year.  I decided to explore alternative forms of education, such as homeschooling and online courses, which allowed him to learn at his own pace and in his own way. He has since blossomed into a confident and independent young man and I am grateful for the opportunity to support him in finding his own path.

My middle child, on the other hand, is a social butterfly and started pre-school at 5 weeks old. She's a natural academic and has a passion for studying. She thrived in mainstream schooling and lived to see her friends. The year of our first lockdown changed things for many. This was the year she started high school. It was also the year the bullying began, by both students and teachers. Again, we pushed through, thinking we could try and resolve these issues that many mainstream schools like to brush under the carpet just because "back in our day" it wasn't heard of to report bullying, you just get over it. Shortly after her second year in high school, I put her into online schooling where she flourished for the first year. The second year of online didn't serve well for many reasons. This beautiful, free spirit, who loves to question the rules and boundaries chose to return to mainstream where she finds her days fulfilling. An overwhelming and interesting journey to say the least.

With my youngest child, I have learned to take a more hands-off approach. I have come to understand that each child is unique and has their own strengths and interests. Instead of imposing my own expectations, I have encouraged him to explore his own passions and choose his own educational path. He was happiest in preschool. His grade 1 year began the year after our first lockdown and let's just say that the experience started off exciting as he entered "big school". The experience on the whole, for him, was not pleasant. Here, again, I pushed to see if there wasn't a way we could make it work, knowing in my gut that this wasn't the environment for him but wondering how I would get anyone else to understand. Finally, he is in an environment that nurtures each child's fears to create a harmonious schooling experience for each child. They have more time to be in touch with nature and music, where they are seen and heard by each and every teacher, where the learners feel like they are a family and where everyone is treated with respect. It has been a joy to watch him grow and develop his own sense of self as he navigates confidently through each day.

Through my personal experiences of schooling with each of my children, I have learned that it is crucial to support and guide them rather than trying to control their every move. By allowing them the freedom to choose and make their own decisions, I have seen them flourish and become confident individuals. As adults, it is our responsibility to provide a nurturing environment for our children to grow and develop, rather than imposing our own expectations upon them. Ultimately, it is their lives and their future, and we must trust in their abilities to pave their own paths towards success and fulfillment.